“Why does it feel like I am pushing a rope uphill?”
Leadership becomes exhausting when leaders convince themselves they must personally solve every
problem, make every critical decision, and create every solution alone. Often the breakthrough comes when
we finally admit we cannot.
For years I was a leader who believed I needed to have all the answers.
And if I am being honest, there was a certain amount of ego attached to believing I could solve almost any
problem myself.
Then everything changed.
Less than a month into my tenure at a new company, I developed a detailed plan designed to improve both
retention and team performance.
Based upon my previous experiences, the plan was solid. I was proud of the work.
Imagine my surprise when my boss handed the proposal back to me and explained that I had made very
little effort to truly understand why things currently existed the way they did.
She pointed out that I was essentially an outsider with no real understanding of the company’s history,
culture, standards, or procedures attempting to change a system I did not yet fully understand.
She was absolutely correct.
While many of my instincts were valid, I was still operating like a lone wolf trying to fix everything
independently.
What I had failed to consider was the perspective and experience of the people who had lived inside the
organization long before I arrived.
So I went back to the drawing board.
This time I involved people with deep organizational knowledge and experience. We collaborated. We
challenged assumptions. We refined the approach together.
And the revised plan was far better than the one I had originally created alone.
The collaboration produced a stronger solution.
Ironically, the moment I gave up some of the pride of ownership, we achieved a far better outcome.
More importantly, I learned one of the most valuable leadership lessons of my career:
No one accomplishes anything truly meaningful by themselves.
At some point every leader must learn to trust, involve, and depend upon other people.
Too many leaders believe they must justify their position by having all the answers. So they fake confidence.
They hold on too tightly. They try carrying every burden themselves. And eventually they burn out.
But when leaders loosen the reins and genuinely invite others into the process, something powerful
happens.
The solutions often improve. The likelihood of acceptance increases. People grow. Ownership expands. And
team members are given the opportunity to contribute, shine, and develop.
Leadership is not about proving how much you can personally carry.
It is about building something stronger together than you ever could have created alone.
Is there a problem you have been wrestling with alone?
And who around you could help you create a better solution if you were willing to invite them into the
process?

