Let Them Finish
Have you ever left a conversation believing you understood what someone meant—only to discover that there was more to the story?
Leaders are often expected to think and respond quickly. When we have experience with a problem, we may anticipate where the conversation is going before the other person gets there. Moving the discussion along can feel efficient, but in our rush to reach the conclusion, we may miss the perspective that could change it.
Baseball offers a powerful parallel.
A hitter who commits too early may decide where the ball is going before it leaves the pitcher’s hand. By the time the pitch reveals itself, changing course may be impossible.
Patience did not make Williams less aggressive. It allowed him to see more clearly so that,when he did swing, he could act with greater confidence and precision.
Have you ever finished someone else’s sentence for them?
I used to do it all the time.
I told myself I was being helpful. Perhaps someone was struggling to find the right word, and I was simply helping them along.
At other times, I believed I was demonstrating that I was listening closely enough to know where they were going.
There may have been some truth in both explanations.
Mostly, however, I wanted them to get to the punchline more quickly so that I could move on to what I considered more important things.
I also wanted to be the smartest person in the room.
By finishing someone’s sentence, I could demonstrate that I already understood the point they were trying to make. I did not need to hear the rest because I believed I already knew where the conversation was going.
I thought I was being helpful and efficient.
In reality, I was being impatient—and often quite rude.
Worse, I may not always have finished the sentence they intended to finish.
Like a hitter committing to a pitch too early, I had decided where their thought was going before allowing it to arrive. I was responding to the conclusion I expected rather than listening for the one they were actually trying to express.
There may have been more to the story.
They may have possessed information I did not have. They may have seen the situation differently. They may have been working their way toward an idea I had never considered.
Perhaps they would have arrived at a better answer than mine.
My impatience may have caused me to miss an opportunity to learn. It also denied others the satisfaction of completing their own thoughts, reaching their own conclusions, and demonstrating what they knew.
That has consequences far beyond a single conversation.
When leaders routinely finish people’s sentences, provide answers too quickly, or redirect conversations toward their own conclusions, people eventually stop working through problems for themselves. They learn that the leader’s answer is the one that matters.
Their ideas remain unspoken. Their confidence stops growing. The leader may save a few seconds in the conversation but lose an opportunity to develop another person.
Patience asks us to wait just a little longer.
Long enough for the other person to find the word.
Long enough for the thought to develop.
Long enough for the rest of the story to emerge.
Long enough, perhaps, for us to learn something.
REFLECTION QUESTIONS
Where could you exhibit a little more patience today?
What might you learn if you allowed someone else to finish?
CHALLENGE
The next time you believe you know where someone is going, resist the urge to complete
the thought for them. Give them the time and space to reach their own conclusion.
Wait. See the ball a little longer.
Then decide whether you need to swing.
