Stop Providing Every Answer

Does it seem as though every problem, or potential problem, lands on your desk? Do you feel as though you’re constantly putting out fires?

When you can see the solution, giving the answer feels helpful. It can also be the reason the next problem lands on your desk.

I coached youth soccer for about 20 years and, over that time, coached approximately 80 teams. In my early years, I was constantly calling instructions from the sideline. I could see where a player should move or where the next pass should go, and I wanted to help the girls see it too.

Then I began to notice something troubling. Players would hesitate, waiting to hear what I wanted them to do. The game was happening in front of them, but they were looking to the sideline for the answer.

I thought I was developing better players. I was teaching them to depend on me.

It took a few years and more than a few losses for me to accept that I could not play the game for them. I changed what I offered from the sideline. I gave positive feedback, helped them learn from what happened, and let them make the decisions that were theirs to make. Their confidence and competence grew.

For years, I repeated the same mistake at work.

I was a good problem solver. When someone on my team came to me with an issue, I could usually see a way forward. I gave them the answer, they implemented it, and we moved on. They were satisfied. I felt useful. The problem was solved.

Until the next problem arrived.

I had made it easy for people to bring their problems to me and hard for them to build confidence in their own judgment. I was working long hours trying to keep up, yet I was barely treading water. When I was unavailable, some problems simply waited—or grew.

That was difficult to admit because the pattern had been rewarding me too. Being the person with the answer made me feel valuable. But my primary responsibility was to develop leaders, and my team was becoming more dependent on me.

I began changing my first response. Instead of immediately offering my solution, I asked people what they were seeing and what they thought we should do. I still coached, and I stepped in when the situation required it. But I gave them room to think and act. Over time, they grew more independent, and problems were resolved by the people closest to the action.

REFLECTION QUESTIONS

Where are people waiting for your instructions when they could be reading the game for themselves? What might change if your first response helped them find their answer?

CHALLENGE

The next time someone brings you a problem they are capable of handling, resist the urge to call the play from the sideline. Ask what they see, listen to their thinking, and let them make the call.