Allow Productive Struggle
Have you ever entrusted a team member with a critical assignment, only to see their performance fall short when it mattered most?
In that moment, stepping in can feel like the only responsible choice. Sometimes it is. But once the immediate risk is addressed, how you respond to the person may determine whether this setback becomes a turning point in their development.
I spent much of my life in competitive athletics, and I developed an intense dislike of losing at anything. Horseshoes. Checkers. A footrace. It did not matter how small the contest was.
Losing felt like failing, and failing was a blow to my ego. If I am honest, I approached sports with a fixed mindset. When I did not win, I took it as evidence that I was not as capable as I wanted to be. I found that hard to accept.
Coaching more than 80 youth sports teams challenged that belief. Many of those teams lost frequently, especially while the players were still learning. I could not ask young athletes to take risks, make decisions, and improve if every loss felt like a verdict on who they were.
I had to change how I responded. We could be disappointed with a result and still ask what it taught us. We could look honestly at a missed play, an unprepared effort, or a decision that did not work—and then practice what we would do differently next time.
As the players learned to see setbacks that way, they became more willing to try. They made decisions more quickly, grew more creative, and enjoyed playing together. Growth did not require us to pretend that losing was the goal. It required us to use what happened to get better.
The same is true when we develop leaders. Giving someone responsibility means accepting that they will sometimes struggle.
Our job is to set clear expectations, provide support, and protect people from consequences they are not yet equipped to manage. When a recoverable mistake happens, we also have to resist treating it as a final judgment on their ability.
A leader’s number one responsibility is to develop more leaders. People need opportunities to act, assess the result, and try again with better judgment. The way we respond when they fall short helps determine whether they will have the confidence to take that next step.
REFLECTION QUESTIONS
When someone on your team makes a mistake, do they expect a conversation about what they learned—or a verdict on their potential? Where could a capable person use another opportunity to grow?
CHALLENGE
The next time someone falls short, address the result honestly. Then ask what they learned, what they would change, and what support they need to try again. You get to choose the climate you create. Choose wisely.
