Asking Better Questions
Have you ever stopped to think that all questions are not created equally?
Most of us ask dozens of questions every day, but we rarely think about why we’re asking them. Some questions are designed to gather information. Others are intended to persuade, direct, or confirm what we already believe. The most powerful questions, however, are asked with genuine curiosity. They don’t seek to prove a point—they seek to uncover one. Great leaders understand that asking better questions leads to better thinking, better decisions, stronger teamwork, and ultimately, more and better leaders.
For much of my career, I considered myself a problem solver. I wore that label as a badge of honor. When someone brought me a challenge, my mind immediately began searching for a solution. The problem was that I often prescribed the solution before I had adequately diagnosed the situation.
As I transitioned into coaching, I discovered that this mindset had quietly followed me. I would ask what I believed were thoughtful questions, but if I was honest, they weren’t really questions at all. They were carefully crafted statements disguised as questions, designed to lead my client to the conclusion I had already reached. If they wandered in a different direction, I found subtle ways to guide them back to what I believed was the “right” answer.
Imagine visiting a doctor who decided on your diagnosis before asking about your symptoms. You’d probably find another doctor. Yet many leaders do exactly that every day. We enter conversations convinced we already know the answer and then use our questions to validate our assumptions rather than uncover new information.
Curiosity requires something different. It requires asking open-ended questions without a predetermined destination. It means listening with the expectation that someone else may see something we don’t. Our responsibility as leaders isn’t to prove how much we know—it’s to develop the confidence and competence of the people we lead.
Sometimes they’ll arrive at the same solution we would have chosen. Other times they’ll discover a better one. And occasionally they’ll make a decision that doesn’t work. Even then, the experience becomes part of their growth. People learn far more from discovering solutions than from simply following instructions.
When we replace leading questions with genuine curiosity, we create space for new ideas, stronger ownership, and better outcomes. We don’t just solve today’s problem—we develop people who are capable of solving tomorrow’s problems without us.
Where are you prescribing before you’ve fully diagnosed the situation?
How could asking more open-ended questions help your team discover solutions they can truly own?
