Would you be the person you are today if you had never experienced failure, disappointment, or loss?

Most of us have failed a time or two.

And if we’re honest, probably far more than that.

Failure doesn’t feel good. It often leaves scars that stay with us for years. Yet just as broken bones heal and often become stronger, so can we—if we choose to use the experience as fuel rather than a reason to quit.

I loved basketball from the time I was in fourth grade.

My father coached the high school team, and I spent countless hours attending practices and games throughout my elementary and middle school years. I played throughout high school and dreamed of playing in college.

Unfortunately, I was 5’10” and not exceptional enough in any single area of the game to earn a roster spot.

After the tryout process, I was informed that my talents would not be needed.

I was devastated.

At the time, I could not have imagined a worse outcome.

Fortunately, several leaders encouraged me to stay in school and try out for a newly formed team handball club.

As it turned out, my skills translated nicely to the sport.

What initially felt like a crushing disappointment became the doorway to an opportunity I never would have discovered otherwise.

Over the next several years, I competed with the U.S. Men’s National Team and had the opportunity to travel throughout the world representing my country.

A new dream emerged.

The Olympics.

Then came 1984.

I failed to make the Olympic Team.

Once again, I was devastated.

It was a tremendous disappointment and a significant blow to my ego.

Truthfully, it still bothers me today.

But time has a way of revealing lessons that are difficult to see in the moment.

I learned that talent alone is never enough.

I learned that growth is a choice.

I learned that if we stop improving, others will eventually pass us by.

Most importantly, I learned that setbacks do not define us.

Our response to them does.

Those lessons have served me throughout my life and career. While I still wish the outcome had been different, I recognize that I am stronger because of the experience.

Every leader will experience disappointment.

Every leader will make mistakes.

Every leader will suffer setbacks.

The question is not whether adversity will find us.

It will.

The question is what we will become because of it.

Some people stay broken.

Others become stronger.

The choice is ours.

Choose wisely.