Make the Best of What Happens
Have you ever caught yourself wishing things had turned out differently?
We all have. We replay conversations, second-guess decisions, and imagine how life might have been if circumstances had unfolded another way. But we can’t rewrite yesterday. We can only decide what we’ll do with today. Great leaders don’t waste their energy wishing for different circumstances. They make the best of the circumstances they’ve been given.
“If only…”
Those two words have crossed my mind more times than I care to admit.
Like everyone else, there are moments in my life I’d love to do over.
If only I had said something differently.
If only I had made a better decision.
If only I had seen what was right in front of me.
One event still stands out in my mind.
When I was in high school, my father found an incredible deal on a used car. It wasn’t new, but it was in remarkable condition, and he was understandably proud of it.
One evening, after a baseball game was canceled because of rain, I stopped at Dairy Queen before heading home.
As I approached a railroad crossing, I noticed the warning lights flashing.
For several days leading up to that evening, those lights had been malfunctioning. They flashed continuously, yet no train ever came.
Like many people do, I allowed my recent experience to shape my expectations.
This time was different.
By the time I realized an actual train was approaching, it was too late.
The train struck my father’s car.
Thankfully, I survived.
The car did not.
For years, I struggled to forgive myself.
For weeks, I replayed that moment in my mind.
If only…
If only I had slowed down sooner.
If only I hadn’t assumed the lights were malfunctioning again.
If only I had been more careful.
Looking back, I eventually realized something important.
Regret is only valuable if it becomes a teacher.
Otherwise, it simply becomes a prison.
I couldn’t change what happened that evening.
I couldn’t repair the car.
I couldn’t erase the mistake.
But I could become a wiser driver.
I could become more cautious.
I could honor the lesson instead of continually reliving the regret.
For years, I carried the newspaper article in my wallet—not to punish myself, but to remind myself how fortunate I had been and to never become careless at railroad crossings again.
I couldn’t change the circumstances I had been given.
I could choose what I became because of them.
That’s the lesson John Wooden understood so well.
We all have “if only” moments.
We all have regrets.
We all have decisions we’d gladly take back if given the opportunity.
But leaders don’t grow by wishing yesterday had been different.
They grow by deciding what they’ll do because yesterday happened.
You can’t drive forward while staring into the rearview mirror.
At some point, we have to stop asking,
“What if?”
and start asking,
“Now what?”
Because things really do turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.
Reflection Questions
What “if only” moment am I still allowing to shape my thinking?
What lesson can I carry forward from that experience?
How can I use yesterday’s mistakes to become tomorrow’s wiser leader?
Challenge
Today, let go of one regret you cannot change.
Keep the lesson.
Release the guilt.
Then make the very best of the circumstances you’ve been given.
Because your past may explain you…
But it doesn’t have to define you.
