How to Find the Belief Before It Finds You

Here is a simple practice I use with the leaders I coach. It takes about ten minutes and it is uncomfortable in exactly the right way. Finish these three sentences — honestly, not aspirationally — then interrogate each answer with the framework below.

“I’m just not someone who…”

“I’ve never been good at…”

“That kind of thing works for other leaders, but not for me because…”

Write down whatever comes up. Don’t edit it. Don’t justify it. Then run each answer through these three questions:

FACT  ·  PERCEPTION  ·  ALTERNATIVE REALITY

What is fact? Not what you felt. Not what someone once told you. What is objectively, demonstrably true? My brother’s fact: I made bad pancakes once.

What is perception? This is where the limiting belief lives. A conclusion drawn from incomplete evidence — one failure promoted to a permanent truth. My brother’s perception: I will never be able to make good pancakes. One batch. One data point. Life sentence.

What is the alternative reality? The one that becomes available when you challenge the belief. Every skill improves with practice. Every meaningful leap in your leadership happens at the edge of discomfort — not inside the comfort of what you already do well. My brother’s alternative reality: Turn down the griddle. Try again. Get better.

Most of the ceilings in your leadership were installed by a single bad batch of pancakes. And the griddle has been too high ever since.