You Don’t Have to Carry It Alone

Have you ever felt the weight of the world on your shoulders—as though you were fighting an uphill battle alone?

You know you have good people, but the stakes make it hard to let go. You take on more and step into every problem, feeling responsible for finding a way forward. People are looking to you for answers, and you worry about letting them down—while privately wondering: What if I don’t have the answer?

Much of the pressure I felt early in my leadership career was self-imposed.

When I started my career in the Army, I knew much less than the enlisted people assigned to my organization. Yet I was responsible for what the organization did or failed to do.

Not wanting to appear unqualified, I attempted to carry the full load on my shoulders.

The pressure was huge. I did not yet have the knowledge or experience to handle everything, but I thought admitting that would undermine my credibility.

Fortunately, I had two exceptional noncommissioned officers who sat me down and read me the riot act.

I learned that I did not have to have all the answers. Perhaps more importantly, no one expected me to.

There was plenty of expertise within the team. I needed to be willing to ask for help and relinquish some control.

That conversation changed how I led.

My life became less stressful, and the team functioned better. Others learned that they could ask questions and admit when they did not know something.

People grew. We became a team rather than a collection of individuals.

When I left the Army and entered the corporate world, I encountered the same situation. The people on my team knew more than I did about many aspects of the work.

This time, I did not try to fake it until I made it.

I reached out for help. Asking questions and relying on their expertise helped me build trusting relationships and stronger teams.

I remained responsible for leading. I no longer confused that responsibility with having to know everything or do everything myself.

Under pressure, it is easy to tighten our grip. We take work back, make every decision, and convince ourselves that we are protecting the team.

But we may be overlooking the very people who can help us carry the load.

When we invite their expertise, we gain better information and more perspectives. We also give people the opportunity to contribute, take ownership, and develop confidence.

Our willingness to ask for help gives others permission to do the same. Problems can surface sooner, questions can be answered, and people can support one another.

The pressure does not disappear. We become better equipped to handle it together.

You are responsible for leading the team. You do not have to carry the team alone.

Where might you be holding on too tightly today?
Whose knowledge or experience could help you address a challenge you are carrying?
What could you entrust to someone else that would develop their competence and confidence while reducing the pressure on you?

Choose one challenge you have been trying to handle alone. Bring the right people into the conversation and ask, “What am I missing, and how can we work through this together?”
Give your team the opportunity to be a team.