Our human brains were formed in a very different world—one where survival depended on identifying danger and avoiding it. Detecting threats wasn’t optional; it was essential. Although our environment has changed dramatically, our brains are still wired to scan for the negative in order to keep us safe.
As a result, many of us default to expecting the worst. We try to avoid the pain of rejection, failure, or disappointment rather than expecting the best.
The good news is that our brains are adaptable. We can begin to rewire them by intentionally focusing on the positive things in our lives. Simple actions—like providing positive feedback, expressing gratitude, and encouraging others—can start that transformation. The more we focus on what’s good, the more likely we are to notice it.
This quote resonates deeply with me because I’ve seen this play out firsthand. Last year, I received a parking ticket for an expired registration. I was frustrated—until I realized that had this not happened, I would have been denied access to a military installation the following week and unable to deliver a leadership workshop. What initially felt like a negative event ultimately worked in my favor.
We can’t always change the events that happen to us. But we can change how we interpret them. When we choose to look for the silver lining, we often discover that even difficult moments can produce positive outcomes.
