This quote is one of Stephen Covey’s 7 habits of successful people and represents the foundation of emotional intelligence. All too often we are in such a hurry to prove ourselves right or say what is on our mind that we fail to consider the viewpoint of the other person.

Covey tells a story of a man on a New York City subway who allowed his children to disrupt the peace of the early morning commute. At first, the reaction was frustration and judgment—until it was revealed that the children had just lost their mother and were coming from the hospital. In an instant, perception shifted. What was once seen as poor parenting became something entirely different.

I often think about our current environment and wonder what would happen if more people applied the wisdom in this quote. What if we listened before we labeled? What if we looked for common ground instead of differences?

Years ago, we suspended an individual for violating a safety policy without first listening to their story. When we finally sat down with them, we realized there was more to the situation than we understood. In hindsight, the decision may not have been the right one.

How often do we make that mistake

How often do we judge actions without understanding intention?

What if we chose to assume positive intent? We may be wrong occasionally—but far less often than we think.
Not every situation is a win-lose battle. When we truly seek to understand, a third option often emerges—one that is better than either side initially imagined.

Great leaders don’t rush to be heard. They earn the right to be heard by first seeking to understand.

So today, where can you slow down and listen more deeply?
Where can you assume positive intent?
Where might a better solution be waiting—if you simply seek to understand first?